Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize