So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Houston, we have a blender
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
