STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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