This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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