The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
