Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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