I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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