it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
