He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
