What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
