When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
