she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
