This dress was meant to end up on your floor
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
