What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize