oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
