You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
