Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
