i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
dude. I can hear the air.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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