6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My vagina is officially offended.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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