last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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