We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
