Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
