no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
