After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
