before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
