good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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