I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
