Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
