Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
