this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
