no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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