I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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