ugly people sure do ruin things
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
false alarm, still single
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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