she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
