Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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