K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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