Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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