I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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