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I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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