How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My dick has a subreddit
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
