He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
