Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
