what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
