The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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