i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
