Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
