ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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