Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
jump out the window naked night went bad
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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