Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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