YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i have herpe
just one?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
