According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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