u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Shame - the story of my life.
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