You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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