i will never coherently bang her
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
