So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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