I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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