Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
