Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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