return my video game
We won't sleep together?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
