I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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